It would take a Miracle....

A couple of weeks before  Nolan came home I attended a womens retreat here in Arusha.  A woman flew in to speak to us; Kim from Mosaic church in LA and she was an amazing speaker. She encouraged us and empowered us to be the women God made us to be.   There were so many amazing things that she taught us there but one thing that stuck with me, and I know with a lot of the other women, was something she had us do the last day at the retreat.  We took a notecard and wrote “It would take a miracle……” and filled it in with whatever that miracle was.  It stunned me that something as simple as that was such a HUGE statement for me. I hadn’t really thought about a miracle in my life.  I instantly felt the Lord press upon me my heart’s desire; to bring home a baby. I wrote, to stay anonymous of courseJ, “It would take a miracle to increase my family”.  It seemed completely hopeless at that point.  As I wrote it, I cried out that God would do a miracle for His glory alone. About 2 weeks later, Nolan came home.  We had been waiting and fasting and praying and I felt the Lord give us our miracle and all we could do was give glory to God who had his hand in it.  After Nolan came home I felt like the Lord said “don’t stop there, continue to believe that I do miracles!”.   I then wrote down something that honestly, once again, did not believe it would happen.  “It would take a miracle for us to build a home here at the YWAM base”. 

Since September of 2012 the base has not had running water in the homes and it has been slowly trickling out of a spicket. The dust has consumed our lungs in our home and Hannah and Nick’s asthma has slowly gotten worse.  It would be one thing to breathe it outside but the way it sticks and coats everything in your house and then you sleep breathing it in is almost unbearable.  Nolan’s room is also our storage area and something covers every inch of the walls.  About a year ago Nick and I had talked about maybe moving off the base to a place with running water and better windows and a little bit more space.  Our house is used often by the western students to come stay at when they are sick and it is getting hard sharing the toilet with sick students, especially when there is no running water.   My kids are often knocking on the door, needing to use the toilet when a student is already occupying the bathroom.  We started looking and realized that we would be paying about the same to stay in a much nicer home with running water (HOT SHOWERS!!!) and a yard.  We prayed about it but really felt that we needed to plant ourselves on the base to be a part of the work going on here.  If we moved off base I would stay home all day, nick would go to work and come straight home. There would be no interaction with our fellow YWAMers and we really love that interaction.  Though it was tempting we came to be part of a community.  We had a lot of Western missionaries express that a time will come that this will feel like too much for us. That we will outgrow our home and will want running water, the dust will start to make us sicker and we needed to plan ahead for a home.     We then started getting different ideas.  We started asking around the base if there was any land for sale.  There was a small piece attached to the property but the man heard it was us wazungu (white people) looking and he put the price up very HIGH.  So, in September, we asked the leadership if they would consider giving us the last bit of the land at the end of the row of houses to build a house.  They prayed about it, talked in their meeting and said,  “yes.”  We went to several people around the base and asked their opinion. They were all very excited and told us that they knew at some point we would grow out of the house that we have and have to move off base. This was so much better though that we would stay on base with them.  They thanked us for wanting to still live here at YWAM and for not already moving off the base.  

As we looked at the budget we realized that building a home would be less cost than paying rent here for 9 more years, which for now is how long we feel we will be here.  That seemed like a good investment to us and we started making a house plan that would work for our family. We headed home in October and spent three months in the states raising every day ministry/personal support as well as raising funds separately for a house.  While we were home we talked about different options of borrowing money from people or the bank but really felt we needed to wait on the Lord. We didn’t want to move forward without confirmation.  As we returned to Tanzania I was sure that we had come to an end of this idea of building a home. We had been able to raise half of our budget while in the states but still needed a lot more.  Every time Nick would talk about what to do from here I would sit and think that it just wasn’t possible.   After Nolan came home I started to really believe it was possible. I wasn’t sure how but I had “it would take a miracle” in my mind and I really felt I gave it over to God and waited on His timing. Both Nick and I along with many people we talked to here and in the states, felt that building a house was what we should do we just didn’t know how we would get there and see the miracle happen.  A couple of weeks after Nolan was home we got an email from a friend asking what was going on with the house and what we still needed.  She said that when it was shared in her church (one of our supporting churches) that we finally brought Nolan home.   It reminded someone that we were wanting to build a house and he wanted more information.  He thought maybe they could get a team together and come here to help build the house.  She sent us some questions and we responded immediately, excited for what would come of this.  Two days later we received an email from someone else from the church that didn’t know about the other person asking about the home.  He had a couple of questions for us including how much more we had to raise.  He told us that he was in the midst of building a house and God had really brought our family to his family’s heart. He wanted to pray about helping us financially. We answered his questions and waited for his reply.  After only two days he wanted to let us know that he had deposited the remainder of the budget we needed to build our house and to go ahead and start building!  We were in a little grocery store when I got the email on my phone.   Nick started dancing around and I just broke down crying.  I couldn’t believe it.  I sat in disbelief in the store and re-read the email until it finally sunk in.  We had only met this family once during our time in the states.  We had little connection with them but God used them to be a HUGE blessing to our family.   God is amazing and He is so worthy to be praised. 

We are so excited for the house that is being built.  Here are a couple of pictures.  We started the building about a month ago and the roof is going on next week! We cannot believe how fast building can go if you have the money in hand (and without so many permits).  The builder has told us that we will be moving in by September!  We are hoping that is true.  Right away I didn’t believe it but after seeing how fast this is going, I wouldn’t be surprised. 

The piece of land at the end of the property that leadership gave us to build on

The girls playground for the first 2 weeks of building until they had to use it to fill in the foundation.  The girls loved it and used it as their slide!  It did entertain them for hours on end.

Setting the foundation

This is after only 3 weeks of building!

This is just for your enjoyment!:) This outfit is the outfit Nick was brought home in from the hospital.  It was so small on Nolan but Nick had to try!

The walls are up!!

 

Thank you for praying for this house and for being a part of the many things God is doing here in Arusha, Tanzania.  Thank you for those of you who gave towards the building of the house. We hope someday that you will come visit us and stay in this blessing that God has given us.  I have been praying about what to put on my next index card “It would take a miracle……” and waiting to hear from the Lord.

Our kids

Just a normal picture of the kids.. Hannah trying to look as sweet as ever, Nolan wondering what he is looking at, and Hailey distracted by something!

I know we have been mostly posting about the Maasai ministries on this blog but this morning as my girls are off at school and Nolan is sleeping there are so many things I could be doing but I feel the need to write a bit about my kids.  So, for those of you that read about kids and are tired of hearing stories of other peoples kids, I’m sorry!! You may not want to continue., but for those of you who want to hear more about who my kids are, here you go.....

Hannah started school in April.  She was so excited to go to school and we were so excited for her to go.  The first week was great. She went from 9-3.  At first we thought  that was too much to start with but after picking her up at 3 she didn’t seem upset with the amount of time we had her in her class.  But after the first couple days Hannah started showing signs of stress.  She would get very, very nervous before we got to school and then came the screaming.  We had her teachers take her inside and she would be screaming for us not to leave her.  I decided then that we would pick her up early. Maybe the amount of time she was gone was too hard for her to start so quickly with.  When I would pick her up in the afternoon she would cry that she wanted to stay at school and why was I picking her up before all the other kids.  She was so mad at me for picking her up early.  So, we tried a couple more days of her screaming in the morning, hiding in her room and then again, at the end of the day  screaming that she didn’t want to leave school.  We would wait outside the school gate in the mornings and listen for about 2 minutes and the screaming would stop.  Every day when she came home she was so proud of everything she did at school. She couldn’t stop talking about how much she loved school but in the morning her fear would come again.  She started biting her nails and just shaking.  We decided to give her a break. We pulled her out for a week to reassess what to do.  The teachers encouraged us to bring her again but maybe for only 3 days.  Then we brought Nolan home so getting her to think about leaving her brother to go to school was hard.  We thought of another solution.  Hailey kept asking when she was going to get to go to school. We kept telling her it wasn’t time yet and not til she was five.  So, the teachers suggested hailey going to school a couple days a week. They had a program for 3 year olds.  We asked Hannah if she would go if hailey went.  That perked her up and got her excited to show Hailey everything and have her there with her.  So, these past 3 weeks Hailey has been a champ and now Hannah can't wait to go to school, whether it is with Hailey or by herself.  She was so excited to go.  The teachers says she gets a bit tired by the end of the day but she is very happy to be at school.  It is so funny listening to what their teachers say about them.  Here is a bit of what I have heard about my two girls from school:

  Hailey answers every question (whether she knows the answer or not).  She has a lot of energy and likes to just play, even if it is by herself.  She excuses herself from learning time and goes and sits in the corner and plays with a toy J She pretends to be animals all of the time, walking on all fours.  When asked if she wanted to do show and  tell she said “yes, right now”.  They told her that she needed to wait a couple of days and it would be her turn.  All day she kept asking when she could share.  She wanted to share about her headband.  She wanted to show everyone the different ways she could wear it.  When I came to pick her up she ran out to me yelling “mom please go home. I haven’t shared about my headband. They keep telling me Thursday but I want to share right now!”.  The teachers at Sunday school have asked me if she always has this many stories at home and if I really think they are all true.:)  My social little butterfly.  She plays with every kid there, including the older ones and is not afraid to sing and dance.  When Hailey colors she uses every color she can find and colors as fast as she can to make it look as colorful and beautiful as she can!  When she plays with Nolan it is with so much intensity that sometimes she knocks him over because she is hugging him so hard!

Hannah is reserved.  She sits and waits until she is called on and even then sometimes refuses to give an answer.  Most of the time I am sure that she knows the answer she is just so nervous to say it.  She has a very good friend at school that she loves and says how thankful she is that she has such a good friend.  Hannah is very respectful and always remembers to say please and thank you.  She adores her teacher and loves the times that they get to learn.  She sits anxiously waiting to learn more but then when it is time to play she chooses very carefully who she and her “best friend Amanda” are going to play with.   When asked if she would do show and tell she asked if she could try and if she was too scared if she could stop.  Yesterday, she brought a toy that her Auntie Sarah and her cousin Emma gave her (yes, Uncle John and Johnny did as well but she said she was pretty sure the boys didn’t pick out this out cause it was a princess thing and boys would have picked her out a ball or something).  They said that she was very nervous but she got up there and shared her toy.  On the way home I noticed she had bitten her nails all the way down to bleeding, but she was so proud of herself for doing it. She said “Mom they absolutely loved it! They were all smiling at me and their questions made me so happy.  They really were so happy I shared!”  Hannah’s heart is in everything she does.  She is so sensitive and I have seen the good that can come out of that.  At home the other day she was sick with a fever and a stomach bug.  She was lying in my bed watching a movie with Hailey (who pretends she is sick when Hannah is so she can watch the movie) and she said that when the movie was over she saw a shadow in the room.  It wasn’t a normal shadow though, it was a white shadow.  She was so confused because she hasn’t ever seen a white shadow, only gray shadows.  Then she realized that it was Jesus watching over her.  She told me that she told Hailey and just sat and hugged Hailey as they looked at the shadow. She told me she felt so loved by Jesus that He was sitting in that room with her!  Another day she was drawing a picture of Jesus and made him half dark brown and half yellow. When we talked to her about it she said that Jesus told her that He was not just for Americans but he was God for the Maasai so Jesus must look like he is all different colors.  He couldn’t be all brown or all yellow, he had to have a little of each person in him.   I am constantly in awe of the things Hannah hears from Jesus. She teaches me more about Jesus every day.

 

Nolan is a funny little boy.  He mimics everything that we do.  After we sneeze, he tries to make that sound.  When we laugh he pretends he is laughing hysterically.  He always tries to dance, even when walking by someones house with music on.  He loves to be held and I believe he would be fine never being put down on the floor but when you put him down he crawls so incredibly fast!  His adventurous side is slowing coming out.  He is very social as long as someone he knows is holding onto him.  Anybody that walks by our house he waves at and screams.  He wants people to look at him.  He has started to squint his eyes thinking he is making a funny face and then starts laughing.  He has learned so much in the past month.. Yes, June 8^th it will be a full month that he has been home with us! He has learned to wave hi and goodbye, when we say Hello he puts whatever he is playing with up to his ear and mimics the sound of hello like he is talking on a phone, he signs “more” and “all done” when he is eating.  He knows High five and how to clap. He tickles the girls.  He has learned what “hapana” means and stops when he hears it.  “Hapana” means no in Swahili. We realized after naming Nolan that “no” sounds a lot like his name.  Nick sings a song that just says “no no no no no no “ and Nolan loves it and starts to dance every time. So one day he tried to turn on the stove and I said “no no” and he started smiling and dancing… so we are using “hapana and tabala (Maasai)”.    Nolan has been a trooper out in Maasai land and has gone to visit a couple of bomas.  He isn’t too scared of the Maasai and even gives them high fives.  The one thing he is fearful of is animals!  He sees anything and starts to cry.  We aren’t sure what made him so scared of animals but even chickens frighten him.  He is terrified so we have tried to keep all animals away from him.  He is adjusting so well now and has stopped crying when his food is all gone and when his bottle is empty.  When he came home he had 2 bottom teeth and now one top tooth just came through yesterday  The other is sooo close! I am hoping after those come through his naps during the day will start getting longer than 20 minutes!!

So, those are my kids.   They are all soo different and so amazing!  I feel soo blessed to be able to raise them.  Lately I have been feeling so overwhelmed and really wondering what I am doing!  I have forgotten what it was like to be a mom to a baby.  Nolan needs everything! He needs his diaper to be changed (every hour due to changes of food and his stomach trying to adjust), a bottle, spoon fed all of his food (he is still trying to grasp food but won’t put it near his mouth), played with him all of the time, etc.  All the things I forgot about when you have a 3 and 5 year old.  The hard part is its all started right away. There was no newborn time.  No time to adjust.  Just BAM a 9 month old that needs me 24 hrs a day.  I had been waiting and waiting for this moment but I forgot what this would mean.  My day is full of poop, bottles, making my own food, playing with blocks, and cleaning up again.  Its different than in the states where I have friends around to help or to just vent to when the days are hard.  It feels so different to not be in a familiar place with a new baby.  Everything feels harder.  Getting food, making food and hoping the electricity will stay on long enough to be able to blend the food I am making, finding diapers that don’t leak every time that he goes to the bathroom,  etc.  I have been so homesick and really missing family and friends.

 With Nolan home the girls have been a little more needy.  Just last night Hannah told me that she really misses me being her mom!  This broke my heart and I started to cry. I asked her what she meant and she said before when she would ask me to play with her sometimes I would say I have work to do but other times I would play with her.  Now every time I say I have work to do.  She asked me if I could please have Daddy make dinner tomorrow so that I could have some time to sit and play or draw or something with her.  She told me that she doesn’t know why she is so sad but she just feels like I choose everything over being with her.  Oh man, that shot right to the heart.  I had been feeling like maybe I should take on something else at the base or do more ministry out in Engikaret with the maasai women and trying to figure out how to do that.  I had been feeling like being a mom wasn’t enough right now.  After she said that I felt so excited about what my work is and I felt inspired to be able to be a mom to my kids.  Today when I woke up it felt like a new day and that the Holy Spirit really poured out on me an overwhelming love for my children.  I am going to walk in that!