Christmas

Christmas this year was quite different than any other year we have had.  It was both great and miserable at the same time!
We started the week with being able to give the Maasai women out in Engikaret that faces4hope works with a Christmas meal! A couple months ago my mom and I were sitting talking about something we could do as an outreach on Christmas that we could involve the girls in.  We also talked about really wanting to put the Masaai in the hearts of people in our churches in america; something we could do to let them know they are being thought of over the Christmas season. I started talking with my mother-in-law about her church (one of our sending churches) doing a fundraiser to raise money to be able to give a Christmas dinner to our friends in Engikaret.  She was so excited and started on it right away.  It gave us about a month to raise support.  We got preparations ready and headed into town on Dec. 18th to get the food and soap.  We were believing for $600.  Two days later, the day we were heading out to Engikaret to distribute the Christmas presents we got an email from my mother-in-law saying the church had been able to raise almost $1,000 which meant we would be able to give even more!!  The girls were so excited to go out there and give food to their friends, the Masaai.  Hannah had been talking about it for weeeks and was full of energy when she woke up that day realizing it was the day to give away presents.   The women that came were so thankful.  We were able to give all 40 women plus 15 secondary (high) school Masaai girls food to bring home to their family for Christmas.  It included rice, oil, sugar, tea, soap, babycare (some stuff for their skin they need), and some candy for the kids.  With the extra money raised we were also able to give the Tanzanian staff out in Engikaret some Christmas money.  They had spent hours getting the gifts ready with us.  They worked so hard with no reward for themselves just like they do all year long.  We were so glad to be able to give them a very unexpected gift as well. Their hearts for the work God has put in front of them is unbelievable.  Our girls loved giving the candy away and as we left there, Hannah said to me that it was her favorite part about Christmas.  Now her friends wouldn't be hungry anymore.  It was an amazing experience that we plan to make a tradition! Thank you Christ Community Church for being so generous!
During that week Nick continued to do the seminar with the church he is working with right now.  He saw 10 people come to know Jesus this week.  One of them was a muslim woman who showed up for the seminar that same day.  On Saturday we had our family's Christmas knowing Sunday would be full at the church for Nick.  We had such a fun Christmas. The girls came out in the morning to discover their two guinea pigs and were so excited they were fine not getting any other present. They sat and sang to their guinea pigs and held them forever! We finally had to tell them it was time to open presents.  Please put the guinea pigs down! We searched for baby Jesus (a tradition from my family) and then opened presents! It was a simple but great christmas morning. Nick searched all over Arusha for a waffle maker and found one that he got for me for Christmas.  We had a great christmas breakfast then headed out in a borrowed car to go see a Christmas movie at the one theater in town.  The girls loved it and it felt a little like home. 
Nick was very excited about the next morning, Christmas morning, preaching at the church he had been working with all week.  Unfortunately the whole night of Christmas Eve Nick was extremely sick.  We believe he ate something wrong but are still unsure.  Whatever it was wanted out of his body! He was so weak in the morning that going to preach at church was out of the question.  We were both so disappointed and after a sleepless night we stayed at home all of Christmas and the Pastor of the church preached that day.  It was a sad Christmas day and that night we skyped with family watching them all together on Christmas morning.  We were so glad to be able to see them but it was so hard and had me in tears and Hannah saying she wanted to go back and spend Christmas with our families. This made Christmas a hard time to be away from family but we had expected that and to be honest, I expected to feel even worse for a longer time.  Every missionary here that we have talked to said Christmas morning the first year is the worst and you have to distract yourself which was our plan but with Nick being so sick we had to sit at home.  To make it worse, we ran out of water and weren't able to take showers or clean up dishes.
I had to remind myself that I am not entitled to running water or clean dishes or being with family.  Serving Jesus means giving up yourself and your desires.  Serving Jesus means loving His people and we have followed Jesus here and want to love His people no matter what the cost.  In reality, the cost of no running water isn't much of a sacrifice.  We were still able to be together as a family, have a great Christmas and show Jesus to others through giving to them. 
We had such a blessed Christmas and are so thankful for everything we have here in Tanzania.  We are greatful living here with our kids, experiencing Christmas in a different way this year.  We have been continuing our christmas celebrations with boxes that have arrived (which means soo much to us and feels like Christmas morning all over again) and there are more to come!  Also, my parents are  arriving on Sunday night and we have kept all of our Christmas decorations up so we can celebrate Christmas with them as well!  Our Christmas will last a long time this year, especially if the post office continues to surprise us with how incredibly long it takes to get a package.  We may still be celebrating Christmas in March!
Thank you for supporting us in this adventure.  We pray you had a Christmas full of Jesus, family, and friends.  We love you and miss you all and can't wait to hear from you.

Summer Camp in December

Seventy-three young men and women between 13 (they say) and 18 years old came to the base for a week of Christian Summer Camp this month.  I was asked to do two things during this week; play some games and teach them about sin.  Those two didn't really seem to gel very well when they first told me, but I was excited anyway. 
Seventy-three young adults that have grown up in bomas (dung huts) unaware of much else besides Maasai culture, for the first time got to experience dodge-ball.  IT WAS NUTS!  Can you imagine, for the first time ever, handing a couple of soccer balls to a group of teenagers and telling them they could pummel each other and get a prize at the end for doing it well?  In the end, a little 14 year old girl named Bebi won.  All of the big boys canceled eachother out and she was left the sole survivor.  She was so proud of herself.  This young girl is in school because she loves to learn.  She wants to go to school.  Her father had already made negotiations to become a bride to a much older man, but because of the work of Faces for Hope (www.faces4hope.com) she was able to start high school and learn first. 
Seventy-three young Maasai men and women for the first time heard that sin is more than just breaking God's Law.  But instead it is breaking God's Heart.  Sin is more than being fearful of God's Wrath, but that there is a Father in Heaven that doesn't just want to use them for what He can get out of them, but instead He is seeking their good and is emotionally wounded when they choose to harm themselves. 
Seventy-three young adults this week experienced God's love expressed through His hands and His feet.  Praise the Lord for the opportunity.  Praise the Lord for the PCYM School in YWAM Arusha.  Praise the Lord for Faces For Hope for sponsoring.  Praise the Lord for the Praise Center and Christ Community Church and all of our friends and family that helped us be able to be here.

Seventy-three children of God met with their Father this week. 
This is how EVERY worship service was!  It was awesome!

Finnished!

Today was the last day of the lecture phase of the classes I have been involved in and looking back, I see some really encouraging things the Jesus has been doing for His people.  Just as exciting is what He has in store for these next few weeks; 2 week long seminars, sermons twice a week for the next 4 weeks, house visitations with a local pastor for shut-ins and those that are sick, and potentially an opportunity to preach to over 600 people in a town about 6 hours away! 

As much as all of that means to me, there is something I heard this week that competes extremely well.  Last night, as I put Hannah and Hailey to sleep, we had our regular time of prayer together and for some reason, this night, they both really felt that they wanted to pray themselves.  So I let them...And boy can they pray!  They prayed and prayed for everything.  Thank you for the day. Thank you for the night.  Thank you for my arms.  Thank you for my lunch.  But it was the end that I don't think I can ever forget.  All of a sudden, I heard Hannah, in her little 3 1/2 year old voice cry out in gratitude, "Thank you God for making me Hannah.  I love being Hannah."  These last few weeks, I have been praying a lot, and asking the Lord, "is it fair for me and Heidi to cart these poor girls all over the world, across the globe, away from family, away from their home, away from people that speak English?"  And every couple of days, when Hannah cries about missing her friends (getting better from every day), I ask God if I heard Him right.  Then, when I heard the cries of my daughter's heart, I felt the Lord reassuring me that He is working in Hannah's life and Hannah likes being who she is.  He reminded me that "our times are in His hands" and that I can "let the little children come" to Him.  That He watches out for Hannah, even at her young age and that He is doing a work in her.  "Teach a child in the way (s)he should go and she will not go far from it." 

Breakthrough

The biggest prayer on my heart nowadays is that Hannah and Hailey will have a heart for Tanzania; that they will want to be here more than they want to go back to America.  So far every time Hannah acts up she says it is because she just misses everyone so much that she can’t help but do the wrong thing.  Sometimes at night I hear her just praying and praying that Jesus will let her friends know how much she misses them.   I am so thankful that she had such amazing friends in Wenatchee that she has kept this tight of a grip on them but it is also hard for her to move on.  Hailey follows suit.  One time in the car Hailey couldn’t stop crying and I kept asking her what was wrong. She said she wanted to go home but every time I would say we are almost home she would say “no!!!” so finally I asked her what home did she want to go to and she responded by saying “Abby’s home and Mya’s home” (these are her friends in Wenatchee). She was trying to tell me she just wanted to go back to Wenatchee.  She wasn’t prompted in any way and we hadn’t talked about Abby or Mya’s home in a while so this was her own little mind remembering home.  These have been heartbreaking for me as a mom and I keep trying to figure out ways to make them feel like this is home but in the end I know I just need to pray for their hearts to open up here and for them to feel comfortable. When they get sad we talk about going home to visit for a couple months and that normally helps Hannah settle down. I know it has only been 3 months but I have just been waiting and waiting to hear her say she likes it.  Finally the other day we were walking from Nick’s class back to our apartment and Hannah looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy, if we go back to Wenatchee I would miss this place so much. I would cry every day. Can we please stay here? It’s okay if I miss my friends in America, they know I love them and miss them.  Please mommy, please can we stay here?”  After that we talked about all the things she would miss about Africa and the list was long!  Hailey then said she wanted to live in Africa not Wenatchee.  That night the girls and I sat out on our patio and watched the sunset (one of their favorite things to do) and Hannah said “see mommy, like this.  It is so beautiful. I would miss seeing the beautiful sunset if we left here and listen to those silly chickens, they are so loud all day and night. I wouldn’t see chickens and cows if we went back to Wenatchee.”  I am so proud of my girls. We have a long way to go but this is a huge step in the process of adjusting here.  I am seeing their hearts for Jesus grow bigger and bigger every day.  It is such a blessing to watch Hailey fall down (I’m getting to the good partJ) and watch Hannah run to her side and pick her up, brush her off and ask her if she can pray for any of her cuts.  When we are places with other kids the girls are starting to realize these kids don’t have the toys like they do so they give them some of their toys to play with.   We are so thankful for the family he has given us!

Cream of wheat and PBnJs

Some things i have learned about tanzanian culture:

The word "please" doesn't compute
The white taxis don't stop if you are crossing
Celine Dion has made a serious comeback in Africa
When food is available, everyone has a few minutes to talk...

We had a teacher from Korea this month that came to talk about humility and Servanthood. He was teaching in English and there was a translator was speaking in Swahili. It was a really good set of teaching for a couple of reasons. First off, as he spoke with such a thick korean accent, it was hard to catch all that he was saying. So, in order to understand everything, I had to really focus on the Swahili translation of what he was saying. Needless to say, I picked up a lot of new vocal. Lately all of us have been speaking quite a bit of Swahili; even the girls. They now have a couple of worship songs that are their favorites in Swahili.
The second reason I enjoyed what he had to say so much was how inspiring he was. He is a 59 year old man that says he is just about finished with his missionary training after 25 years of full time ministry. He described a time in his life when his ministry to a group of day-laborers was just to show up with tea and bread under a tree. He said so many came to the lord in those days and I was captivated. So I got an idea...
Around the corner from where we live is a long stretch of houses with lots and lots of kids. Every saturday morning, the girls ask to go for a walk so one Saturday I got up early and began to cook a huge pot of cream of wheat and a stack of quarter sliced peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and we went for a walk. As I mentioned earlier, as soon as food is available people have time to listen. We got about a quarter mile down the road before a whole group of kids were surrounding us eating sandwiches and porridge. While they ate, Hailey passed out more food while Hannah and I told them about Jesus. Eight of them asked Jesus into their hearts right there on the road. I praise the Lord that He used us in that way and I praise Him even more that my children were able to be a part of it. It was a good week.

You are for me

Blog post

Since being here there have been some amazing days and some hard days.  For some reason after coming here I was introduced to a song we had on our Itunes all along but I have never sat down and listened to it.  The girls and I have quiet a few “ballet classes” a week where I put on some ballet type music and they dance around.  Fortunately I didn’t load any real ballet music so we put on our worship songs and dance around.  There is one in particular that has stood out to me every time it is played.  Hannah knows every word now and it is her favorite song to dance to.  One day I sat and just wrote out the words for myself to meditate on and now every time I hear it I am able to focus on Jesus and feel so blessed that I have a God that is for me.  He isn’t just for me when I am happy and content and comfortable in life but he is for me in a place I feel that everything is against me.   Some days I feel that the language, the weather, the snakes/scorpions, the awful things that are happening to the masaai girls, the loneliness, the children right out my door, dying of disease that could so easily be cured in the U.S.,  all of these things are too much but then I remember that God, the God of the universe that holds everything in His hands, MY GOD is for me!  He doesn’t want me to crumble when things look too hard.  I need a reminder all the time that God is for me.  This brings me sooo much peace and I hope if you are in a time of transition in your life or struggle that seems to big to overcome or even if you are in a great  place in your life that these words will just continue to confirm the truth that we know in our hearts that our God is for us.

 The song is by Kari Jobe and is called “You are for me”

So faithful, so constant, so loving and so true so powerful in all you do.

 You fill me, you see me, you know my every move, you love for me to sing to you.

  I know that you are for me. I know that you are for me.

 I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness and I know that you have come down even if to write upon my heart to remind me of who you are.   

 So patient, so gracious, so merciful and true so wonderful in all you do, you fill me, you see me, you know my every move you love for me to sing to you.

 I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness and I know that you have come down even if to write upon my heart to remind me of who you are

The Road Less Travelled, Cont...

The second remarkable fork in the road that I was able to hear about was this young man in the picture above. His name is Yohana (John) and he is a Maasai man from Loliondo. It's a Maasai village near the Serengetti. He told me he wanted to come to my house and talk with me about a need that he had. Now, this has become a regular thing here and it often pertains to money. He came by and sat down and we began to talk. I asked him what he needed and to my surprise, he started talking about his little sister. He told me about his family. He was very sick 10 years ago with some kind of heart complication. He went to the Doctors in Loliondo and no one could help him. So, travelled here to Arusha, but still no doctors had anything they could do for him. He returned home and his family prepared for his funeral. he was ready to go home and die. But, somehow, he heard about a man across the border in Kenya that would pray for people and they would be healed. One last change to live! He talked with his mother about making arrangemments to go see the man, and so he was coming out of Maasailand where he lived to Loliondo town in order to find a ride to Kenya, when all of a sudden he saw the very man that he was going to see in the town of Loliondo! He approached him right away and demanded prayer! The man prayed for him and right there his heart condition left. He knelt down and gave his heart to Jesus and returned home to his family who were still in the midst of his burial arrangements. When he got home he told everyone to stop. He had been healed and now he loves this one called Jesus so much because he was so gracious to him! soon afterward, his youngest sister, Mary, began to come to church and found Jesus to be exactly who her brother told her he was. Another brother didn't like that they were going to church, but he came one day with them also, and he met Jesus and was changed. Soon followed his mother, but his father to this day is uninterested in anything having to do with these things. This is why Yohana was at my door. He came to ask for prayer, not for money. He came to ask if I would pray for his young sister, Mary. Mary is away at boarding school because a group from Denmark sponsored her to study and she loves it. However, there is a man in the village that has already made an arrangement with Yohana's father for a bride price for Mary. Mary is 17 and doesn't want to marry yet, but she just wants to finish school. She wants to keep learning and to be ready to marry when it is time and to choose for herself what kind of man she will marry. Their father is fed up and has sent her messages at school calling her home. Now, in about a month, there is a school break and all of the students have to return home. The moment Mary steps foot in Loliondo, she will be grabbed from the side of the road and locked in a room until she is married. Then, she will be kept in that room until she has been impregnated so that she is no longer allowed to attend school. Yohana was making plans to go home a few days before the break to tell his father that Mary should be allowed to stay at school and not made to come home and marry. He wanted prayer because he didn't want all of this to happen to his youngest sister and he was going home to tell his father so.  I heard Yohana talking in my living room and all of a sudden I began to think about my youngest sister, Melissa.  I thought about her when she was 17, how beautiful she is and was, how smart she is and all of the plans she had then.  I remember the young man she chose to be her husband and how happy she is now in her family, what a wonderful man she has chosen herself and how much they love eachother still today.  If I were in his position, I'm not sure I would have the same composure he afforded in my living room.

The reason I write about Yohana is two-fold. First, is to ask that you would join me in praying for Yohana and Mary. Pray for the Lord's favor and his protection for both of them. The second is to say that every decision we make counts. This young man is on staff here at YWAM as an evangelist and he is incredible. Somebody 10 years ago decided to make a trip to Loliondo and God had put some incredible things in motion for Yohana in that man's decision. I'm sure he has no idea what the fruit is from that one short prayer he prayed so many years ago, but the ripples are making there way all over Africa. Now, as we think back about some of the places we have gone for the Lord, maybe some have felt insignificant, maybe some of seemed like we didn't get to see much happen, but everything is sacred. Every decision counts. Every seed planted matters.

And now for your viewing pleasure.... Yesterday evening it was just about to rain and the sun was setting.  I looked out the door and there was sweet little Hailey taking in every bit of the sunset that she could.  I couldn't help but take a picture. 

And below we have a praise report!!  Praise the Lord that all of you are praying!!  Because this little guy below here just happened to be crawling across our living room floor this week and someone caught a glimpse of him.  We killed it before it could sting anyone.  Thank you for praying for us, thank you Lord for protecting us from danger! 

The Road Less Travelled

This week I have been reminded that there are forks in the road for everyone and they are everywhere. Every morning, we wake up and begin making decisions and nothing is inconsequential; everything is sacred. Each decision we make changes something. Everything that we do has a serious affect on somebody somewhere.
Two men have made decisions that I have been aware of and it is changing my perspective about missions in Tanzania. One came to my attention yesterday evening, when a young man from Hong Kong came to my door asking for some help. It turns out that he had found some trouble that he didn't expect to encounter in a DTS in Africa, but he found himself being drawn into a group of doing some bad things. Soon he was giving in to them and all of them were eventually caught. Wow! Well, praise the Lord, he changed his behavior, he was extended grace and at the fork in the road, he took the road less travelled. The reason he was at my door was because the group continued to entice him and he wanted some advice. Soon, the things happening with some of the students that started with the one thing extended to something way beyond just a small mistake.  What is going on here!?!?!? After I heard this, there was no sense in waiting around. I went straight to the young men enticing this poor kid and buffeted information out of each of them. I gave them one day to come clean and when they didn't, I went straight to the DTS leadership and divulged everything. Now, we are less some students at DTS, but the affect it has had on me is significant. I have heard stories about the problems in Africa and even rumors about Pastors and ministers, even missionaries, involved in all kinds of immorality, but seeing it first hand is a different thing all together. Young men barely old enough to be soldiers, barely old enough to vote, barely old enough to rent an apartment are making decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. What have I come here for? Why am I in Africa if not to find a way to connect to young men's lives and contribute something meaningful and positive to them. (i.e. the lifesaving words and acts of Jesus) What can I contribute if they are dead? And with that in mind, all of a sudden I have this newfound feeling of urgency in communicating the truth of Jesus in a way that men and women and children can understand. What, Oh man, does God require of you? To do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before your God. Every decision we make is to walk before him, fulfilling all that He requires of us, or to walk down a different path, to follow a different road, maybe one where the path is a little more trodden, maybe a little bit wider. What is our responsibility, then, as missionaries, those called to every tribe, tongue and nation to make disciples of all men, (each one of us that follow Jesus)? Is there any greater responsibility than to be present at the forks in the road?

Praise of a Mission Field or Worship of a Missionary

Two dichotomies I heard this week that have each given me pause and motivation for self-reflection.  The topic we are discussing right now is Worship, Praise, and Spiritual Warfare.  In the first day of our lecture, the instructor said this short statement that has been on my mind ever since.  He said, “Anyone can Praise God.  But only those that know Him can Worship Him.”  All over the world, in every country, there are so many different kinds of people with so many different beliefs about who God is.  But when good things happen, people give God praise.  “Wow, somebody upstairs must be looking out for you.”  “Wow, God really got me out of that mess.  I gotta start getting back to church.”  When you invite people to church, you can see on their faces when they really enjoy the “music” and they clap along and sing with the “band” because it is exciting to praise Him.  Then, all of a sudden the music slows down and people close their eyes and each person, individually, is connecting with a personal Creator and all of a sudden, the friend you brought with you to church has an emotion change.  Whether it is confusion, a feeling of being lost in the midst of people they don’t understand, or longing to have whatever experience everyone else is having, your friend can’t worship God until He knows Him.  It has been a really interesting thought for me especially as I take into consideration Romans 12:1, “Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.  For this is your spiritual act of worship.”  I am left with this feeling of my whole life, then, as worship or praise?  What have I been doing with my time, my finances, my thoughts, my leisure time… Do I praise God with my life when I have the time to give a little extra than the required prayer times?  Do I praise God when finances are good?  Oh, sure, I can give a little extra around Christmas time.  Especially after my bonus, God.  Oh, and how about some change in the salvation army bucket, Old Sport.  Or is my life a living sacrifice?  Is my life worship unto God?  And if not, why not? 

That brings me to the second dichotomy that I read in a book.  It’s called “Making Jesus Lord” and it is a very easy read.  If any of you are looking for something new to read, I have to admit, at first I was disenchanted by another book by Loren Cunningham, but truth be told I have been riveted by it.  Anyway, he says that every person fits into one of two categories; those who love Neil Diamond and those who don’t…no, not really.  He says you are either a Missionary or you are a Mission Field.  You are either carrying out the great commission or you are one of those the disciples of Jesus are being commissioned to.  You are either being the church or you are the reason the church still has great job security.  Because the responsibility of the Church, the charge Jesus left us with is to make disciples.  Now, if you have never heard of Jesus, or you have heard and rejected His message, well then you obviously are not his disciple…yet.  On the other hand, the less obvious but just as significant truth is that the immobilized church is just as much a mission field.  To call ourselves disciples is to follow in Jesus’ footsteps and to make disciples.  To be a disciple is to make a disciple.  If you are not making disciples you are not currently a disciple.  Which leaves me with this sobering question.  Am I a disciple?  Do I have people in my life that are working through some process of discipleship that I am helping them through?  Now, of course there are.  My kids!  I am discipling them in the Lord!  Great!  Good job, Nick.  That’s true, you are.  But now, remember the first dichotomy, is your whole life a sacrifice to the Lord as worship?  Or is your life Praise to Him, which is for sure good, but would be the same with or without God in your life?  I know a lot of really great agnostic parents.  So, the question remains, what kinds of disciples do you have?  And if none, maybe you are still a mission field…

Delays

Delay!!
Our vehicle has been delayed. The post office failed to contact our base leader about the arrival of a package containing all the documents needed to process the tax-exemption request for our vehicle which needed processed by the time it arrived. Our car arrived about a week ago and is sitting on the Tanzanian side of the border waiting from our tax exemption paperwork to be processed through the government. Every day it sits at the border we pay a storage fee. There were also some “unexpected” fees involved in bringing a car to Tanzania. All together, the extras (that we are currently aware of) are another $2,000. All of this is to say that we will not get our car as soon as we hoped. We feel a little stuck.  Every time we have to go to the store, the doctor’s office, church…anywhere, we have to find a car, a driver, and inconvenience someone that has to wait around while we do our errands, which takes someone away from doing ministry here at the base. Also, it costs about $20 to go to town because we pay per kilometer, not just gas, so we have really limit trips into town. We feel that when we get our car we will be able to take the girls out of the base and experience a little more of Arusha, giving them a break from being at the base every day. We write this to ask that you would please be praying with us, that the paperwork will go through without problems and will be processed quicker than expected so we can avoid paying a higher penalty.
Also, please be praying for our visas. We still have not received our work visas. They have been so slow that now the director of the visa office in town is looking into why they have not been processed yet. We turned our paperwork in at the beginning of June, but still have not received them. Our current tourist visas last another month and a half, but we don’t want to have to pay any late fees or find trouble with the government. Thank you all for your prayers. They are working miracles here in Tanzania. We know that God is in control of all of this, all money, all vehicles, all governmental offices are His. Praise the Lord because He allows us to partner with Him in bringing His plans into our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We love you very much and miss each one of you.

Fear

Off to a wedding in Engikaret. We were blessed to be able to attend the first Christian Wedding in that area! It was a huge testimony to the Massai.

Hannah in school in Engikaret

Everyone says that driving at night is not a good idea in Tanzania. People drive too fast, there are a lot of drunk drivers, you can hit wild animals, thieves can create a road block resulting in a lot of really bad things, etc. So, when we left town at 6:30 all of those fears ran through my mind. I haven’t experienced a great deal of fear since being here. I have heard the stories and the warnings of certain things which creates a sense of fear in me but I have not been afraid yet, until we started driving.  All the bad scenarios went through my head. I prayed that I would not worry and would enjoy the drive out to Engikaret.  We stopped a couple more times and when we got on our way it was pretty dark out.  We were in a van with about 8 others including my mom who helped me with the girls.  My kids were getting very hungry because I didn’t know we would be out so long and for the first time did not pack a sandwich for them.  As we were going along the highway I looked out the front window and saw a huge dog in the middle of the road.  Edward, our driver, tried to honk and get it out of the way but it didn’t move so instead of swerving around it and maybe going off the road he hit it head on. It felt as if we hit a huge speed bump going 60.  That started my nerves going a bit as I realized there are probably a lot of other things we could have hit and if we hadn’t been in the van we had we may be on the side of the road with a broken windshield and a non-working vehicle.  As I started to calm down I saw a flashing light ahead.  Edward said “uh oh” and we slowed up and pulled off to the side.  The police stand on the side with flashlights and flash the light at you to pull over.  All I saw was a truck and a man.  I heard the people in the seat behind me say “close the windows, it may not be police” in Swahili.  My heart started racing.  The man walked up the side of the car and I tried to hide Hailey who was on my lap, and myself from being seen by him.  I was so nervous it was someone impersonating a police officer and started praying fervently that we would be safe.   Hailey started asking again for food and I had to put my hand over her mouth to try and keep her quiet.  Fear was in my heart and I didn’t know what to do.  It ended up being an officer that just wanted to warn us to slow down because it is dangerous at night but everything in me was still shaking and holding in the tears that were welling up inside me.  Many people wouldn’t have thought about the worst thing that could happen but for some reason that is where my mind went.  The dirt, the lack of water, how long it takes to get stuff done here, being away from friends and family… all of that is hard but this fear that had gripped me was unmanageable.  As we pulled into the base about 10 minutes later I handed the girls over to nick and ran to the room and cried harder than I have cried in a while.  I placed my fear at Jesus’ feet and wept as I felt Him put His arms around me and hold me.  The fear I had was slowly replaced with peace.  Peace that Jesus would be with us every step of the way.  He would not abandon us.  I knew this didn’t mean that things wouldn’t be hard; that these awful things would never happen to us and we are out of harms way at all times, but I knew he was just asking me to remember that He is with us, walking before, beside, and behind us.  I was able to slowly get up the courage to walk out of the room and face Tanzania again.  I was excited to be back with Nick again in Engikaret but I have to admit I was not excited for the dust, lack of water, and lack of food that there was in Engikaret compared to our comfortable home in Arusha.  I just prayed the Lord would work in my heart and help the girls to be comfortable there and that is exactly what He did the next couple of days.  We woke up the next morning and Hannah wanted to go see what was happening in the school so we went out and joined the preschool.  As we did that Hailey decided to go with Nick to help work outside and she loved just sitting and playing in the dirt.  She was as happy as could be.  Hannah was so excited to be a part of class.  She was incredible.  It was a preschool class for 4 year olds and another slightly more advanced for 5 year olds.  The 4 year olds could draw much better than Hannah, but other than that, she was quickly bored.  So she went to the bigger class where the teacher was teaching English to the Maasai kids.  They would hold a pencil and then say, “this is my pencil.”  Then pass it to the student next to them.  After that, they held some scissors.  The teacher instructed them to say, “this is my scissor.”  When it came around to Hannah, she looked at the Maasai Woman/English Teacher and said in her clear American/non-euro-african accent, “these are my scissors.”  I love that my 3 year old was correcting the English Teacher’s English.  Hannah now can’t wait until she can go to school every day.

Lessons

Today is a good day. I am back from two weeks out in Engikaret (where some Maasai live; literally the place of thorns) and am anxious and curious about what the Lord has in store for us next. It has been a very interesting month and a half here in Tanzania; so much better and harder than I expected. All four of us have been through a myriad of emotions but where we sit today, we see God's favor on each moment.

I was afraid that I would be bored stiff during these lectures about the Father Heart of God, What is Prayer, What is Sin... and for the most part, I listen to some of the teaching and somewhere between pride and anxiousness to get teaching, I find myself thinking, "I could teach this." But in each day, God has led me to the importance of remembering who He is. So many truths about God being my Father have been lacquered over my mind, reminding me that God is not like my father, He IS My Father. And what's more, I am not a father even to my own two beauties, He IS Their Father. He will protect them. He will keep Hannah's stomach safe. He will protect Hailey when she drinks that bathwater full of amoebas and jiardia or from the ringworm and hookworms laced through the dirt she so loves to play with. He will watch over Hannah's heart when she cries every day or two because her little heart misses her friends in Wenatchee. HE is their Father and He knows all their needs.

As I have been learning about sin, repentance, and forgiveness, I know what the Bible says about the limits of grace (none), the definitions of sin, and the mandate of repentance and forgiveness. But what God has been teaching me through my ears open to hearing how God speaks to His children here in Tanzania is that they are all part of the same story. So often, we in the US see our sin as a decision that we make. We have the choice to act or not; to give in or not; to stand firm, then, or buckle. And the same is true of repentance. We say with our mouths, "We Repent" and then move on to our regularly dispensed forgiveness at the words of our "repentance." On the other hand, hearing them describe our lives as a much larger whole puts a different emphasis and strength in these truths of the good news of Jesus. Our sin is progressive. Its part of a story. No one make isolated decisions outside of all of the other components of our lives. It starts somewhere in the beginning. It began in the Old Testament for all of us, and when we were born for each of us; from our very first decision. The same is true for repentance. It is progressive. It is part of your life, woven into the rest of our decisions. Jesus is looking for a decision we make. He is looking for us to stand up for what is right. But He is just as much concerned with the ways that decision to stand affects the rest of our decisions. From one decision comes another and soon, we have a lifestyle of change. Which brings us to forgiveness. It, just like the rest, is a process. It is a progression in our lives. Yes, praise the Lord Jesus, it is a decision that we and Jesus have chosen together. It happens in that moment, but, then, it also happens as we experience the healing that proceeds from progressive repentance. Then, our forgiveness is more than just an obligation, but a restoration of old things passing away and new things coming. Good news for the sinner! (me) Great news for the captives! (us) Wonderful opportunity for worship for the world!
And God has been bringing fruit from it all. My ability to speak Swahili gets better and better. I have been invited to preach now almost every Sunday and sometimes during the week there are opportunities. One opportunity came with a small problem. When it came time to preach, the translator from English into Maasai was still cooking lunch and could not come. :) The only other available was one that did not know English. So, I preached the entire sermon in Swahili! One older man was present as I was preaching about Jesus' lessons on turning the other cheek. He came forward during the alter call asking forgiveness for being a "bad man" and repented of his sins. About a week later, there was a girl that was scheduled to preach for an evening service but became immediately ill. About three minutes before starting, the leaned over and informed me that I would be preaching. I stood up and began to introduce myself in Swahili, giving some greetings. Before I knew it the sermon was half over! That evening, about 15 children and 1 young man asked Jesus into their hearts.
And on top of those incredible works of the Lord, we went to a small circle of mud huts about 3 kilometers away from our base to pray for some women that attend a worship service there in Engikaret. We arrived and we prayed and many praised the Lord for being healed in their bodies and encouraged in some of their needs. Before we left, they led us to one old man that wanted prayer. He said his leg hurt and he could no longer walk. We laid our hands on him and prayed, but his pain persisted. I asked him what the problem was and he showed me a huge abscess about the size of a lemon on his thigh. So, we laid hands on the lump and prayed again. Again, no relief from the pain. I sat there stunned, wondering what to do next. My team was looking to me for guidance, and the man was clearly unimpressed. I quietly asked Jesus for help. I asked him what he would have us do next. Before I could say anything, he started to slip the corner of his wrap from his shoulder. He said that he had some other minor problems also. When the wrap came off, you could see a tumor the size of a watermelon sitting on the middle of his back and another lemon sized one on the far side of his back! Right away, I heard a leading from the Lord and began to speak. I asked the old man if he had ever asked Jesus into his heart. He said, "yes" but then the three old women and one young woman standing behind him (4 of his 28 wives) corrected that he had not ever met Jesus. Right away, I remembered this man from a trip past. He had not asked Jesus into his heart, but had been healed from an inability to see (some kind of glaze that was over his eyes). Now his eyes were clear. He already knew the power of the name of Jesus. I told him that this silly little tumor (in my mind I was thinking, "this ridiculously huge tumor") is not a big deal at all to God. He could take care of that in a word from his spirit. But God does have a really big problem with the sin in his life. And that cannot be fixed without his repentance. He thought for a moment, then responded, "Can I do that today, or should I call all of my children here first to hear about this and ask also?" I asked our staff liaison to have him call his children. He leaned over to me and said, "we better pray for him today and make a bigger plan for his children to come. There are over 100. Plus their wives and children." Wow!!! As I returned to the base and told the base leader about the man we had spoken with, I found that he was the senior physician (witch doctor) of the area but has since "retired" however that happens. He is an extremely well respected elder and feared because of the spiritual power he possessed. I was glad to be unaware of all of that before I led him to pray for forgiveness for all of his sins, that God is the only God with all power, that there is no other god like Him, and a commitment to serve no other god besides Jesus.
God has been so faithful. His mercies are new every morning. His peace is beyond our understanding and his love is never ending. Thank you all so much for your prayers. Thank you for your faithfulness in your emails and posts. Thank you for those we have been able to talk to on Skype. We love you very much and could not be here doing these things without Jesus and his tools (you, you're all a bunch of tools). We think of you often and pray for you.

These have become of our best friends and Maasai teachers

Our address

Sorry I never was able to post our address here at the base.  If you are planning on sending something here it is!

YWAM ARUSHA
Nick Forrest
Po Box 10295
Arusha, Tanzania

A little update about our family

Blog post:

               4 weeks!

               We have been here 4 weeks now and are starting to settle in a bit.  Our home is almost all set up and we are starting to learn where to go to buy our vegetables, meat, groceries, etc.   Bucket showers are no big deal anymore and the dogs barking all night no longer keeps us up.

The Arusha YWAM base is about 15 minutes drive from downtown Arusha.  The base has a main hall, a dining hall with a kitchen, a row of offices, classrooms, dorms and then a row of staff/family housing. We are at the end of the staff housing in an apartment on the lower level.  In order to get to classes we walk along a dirt path lining the housing to the main area of the base which takes about 2 minutes if you are by yourself but with the girls who trip over everything and have to stop to fix something it takes about 8.  With my parents here they are along the row of the houses as well and so the girls are able to go back and forth by themselves which is a huge step towards them being a little more independent.  All around us are lots of kids around the girls’ age but they only speak Swahili so it has been hard for the girls  to be able to play with them.  Also they like to pull the toys apart that aren’t supposed to be pulled apart which makes Hannah a little upset.  There is a family that has a little girl named Rita that Hannah really likes but they live out in Engikaret and only come back once every couple weeks for a day.  Yesterday when Rita showed up at our house Hannah went crazy. She became this social butterfly and couldn’t get enough of Rita.  She only speaks Swahili as well and is 5 but her and Hannah seem to be the same temperament so they seem to like each other because of that.  The couple days we were out in engikaret Hannah and Rita played so well together.  At the Arusha base the kids are a little pushier than Hannah and hailey would like. Hailey likes a couple of the kids but follows Hannah around mostly and copies everything she does.  Hannah loves it but also wants a break every now and then. They have been becoming better friends every day. Hannah has stepped up her role as a big sister and Hailey has really enjoyed watching and learning from Hannah.  They are starting to say Swahili greetings to people and wave.  Nobody here has been able to pick them up but them even saying Hi is a step in the right direction.  They are learning more every day. The biggest thing that they are struggling with right now is being a bit bored. We were so used to going somewhere every day that they are having a hard time just being at the base. There is only so many places to walk to on base and so many things to do in the house.  They want to go to town or do something different than what we do every day.   Once we get a car it will get easier to get out a couple times a week but even then it is not very safe to drive around Arusha.   We will get the hang of it once our car arrives.  Nick has tried to get his license but our Residence permit visas still have not been issued so we are here still as tourists. 

               Nick has enjoyed DTS thus far.  He has classes Monday through Friday and then once every month there is an outreach.  There have been 3 weeks of class and last week was a great week.  A lady from South Africa who works in Tanzania came and taught the class. I was able to sit through class and I really enjoyed her teaching. It is so interesting to see the difference in teaching/learning styles between Tanzanians and Americans.  On Sunday the DTS starts its mini-outreach and they have decided that this year it is in Engikaret so the girls and I are able to come.  They will be helping teach the preschool, doing door to door (well boma to boma evangelism), and some other things.   Saturday is a Massai Christian Wedding that we will be attending out there and then we will be staying through the week.  The week following they are holding classes out in Engikaret so Nick will be gone 2 weeks out there.  The girls and I are going to try and be out there as much as possible but we am leaving that up to how the girls do the first week.  We are excited to be out there as a family.

               We are learning a lot about surrendering every day to Jesus and hearing what He wants us to do with our time.  We would love to hear how you are.  You can email us at nhforrest@yahoo.com or post on here how we can pray for you and how the ministry you are involved in is going.  Thank you so much for your prayers.  We are doing better and better every day we are here. We love you and appreciate you all soo much. 

Some pictures of our adventures so far!

On our way to Engikaret to see the Massai women.   Hailey falls asleep every time she gets into the car... still has her dog!:) Hannah loves not having a car seat!

Saying goodbye to everyone to come back to Arusha. We were there for a ceremony to bless one of the woman that has been working out there for the last 5 years and is getting married and moving away. 

Becoming closer friends every day.  Hannah likes to dress like a ballerina whenever she can!:)

Hannah out in Engikaret with Promise and Rita (Rita is in the back making the face).  Hannah misses Rita when we have to come back into town.

Watching the celebration for Mary's wedding (like a bridal shower)

Hailey might have been a little tired waiting for her lunch:)

Ready to go to church for the first time. 

If you look closely at her arm you will see Hannah's favorite friend thus far, her gecko.

An answer to our prayers (well really Nick and Hailey's). We have a dog that comes by our house every morning for breakfast.  A puppy, maybe 3 months old. Nick and Hailey named him "woof".  He keeps trying to come in for shelter but Heidi keeps kicking him out. :)

Tear Streaks and Naptime Prayers

Two things that almost made me (Nick) cry today as I was putting the girls down for their naps this afternoon. The first was from Hailey. The more I get to know her, the more I think she is so much like me. Today, we were having lunch at Pappy and yaya's house. Mommy was going up to the office to send some emails and I had finished class so I was going to take the girls down to our house for their naps and do some homework while they slept. There is a long stretch of apartment like housing where the staff stay and then beyond that is the courtyard where classes are and student housing and then after that is the offices. Pappy and Yaya live on the front end of the staff housing and we live all the way down at the end. Hannah and I left pappy and yaya's and headed down toward our house. All of a sudden, Hannah said, where is Hailey? I turned around and she was marching her little self all by herself past the staff housing, almost to the courtyard another fifty yards away, almost to the offices past that. Hannah and I followed at a distance to see how far she would go. She passed students, staff, workers, throwing her arms backing and forth, swaying her hips and stomping her little feet, not afraid of a thing! She had no idea we were behind her. She knew exactly where she wanted to go and she was just fine getting there by herself. In the distance, I saw a problem. A Tanzanian that wanted to greet Hailey. So far, she hadn't been noticed, but now, this little white girl in a sea of Tanzanians realized she was outnumbered. She looked up a the young person that said hello and I could see in her that she felt lost. She turned right around and ran back toward home. Crying all the way until she turned the corner and saw Hannah and me waiting for her there. As I picked her up, and took her home, placing her in her bed for her nap, I looked down at her little face and could see tear streaks on her cheeks. Her little face was so dirty from the dust that covers everything here that you could see the troughs running down her face as the water rushed through like the rivers. When it rains here you can always see the signs of the rain. things have changed. You see a difference in the terrain. some roads are clean, others are left with debris, but everything is a little different. The leaves on the trees are rinsed, roofs look like they have been swept, puddles are left everywhere. As i saw the change that the streaks of made on Hailey's face, I felt like I wanted to cry because I could see that she is changing. I could see that she is different than she was when she came and so am I. I have gotten used to her face being dirty. She loves the dust. Its like the entire world is her own personal sandbox and she can't get enough of it. I've become accustom to Hailey constantly having a thin layer of dust all over her, and she has changed too. She is becoming her adventurous self again. She is turning into the hailey she was in America, only now, she is the hailey in Africa. She can march herself wherever she wants again. She is not confined anymore to mommy's hip or daddy's arms, but she is free again to be Hailey.
The second thing that almost led me to tears today during nap time was the sound of my daughter's voice in prayer as I left hailey in her room on my way into our room. Hannah was in our room, sitting up in the bed, talking to her Lord and I was eavesdropping. I heard her little 3 1/2 (almost 4, daddy) year old voice crying out to God. She said, in teh quietness of her prayer, "please tell them that I am crying right now." And then she began to cry.
I walked into the room slowly, not wanting to interrupt her prayers, but wanting to hear her heart for myself. She said, "I was praying that Jesus would go and tell all of my friends in Wenatchee that I miss them and that I am crying right now....all except Mya because I think she is probably on Skype and I was going to tell her myself." She began to tell me all about her friends, about how much she misses all of them; Mya, Emma, Kaylie, Lana, I really Amy, Grandma, I really miss my Grandma, Oh, and Grace, Grace is gonna be my age when I get back, and Oakley, and Abby, and Auntie Sarah, and Uncle Phil..." After all of this, she said, "I really wish that I would have given all of my friends a bigger hug before I left...I want to go home" I was tempted to just hold her and feel so sad that she had to be here where she does not feel at home yet. But instead, I felt this surge of pride and thankfulness. I was so proud of my little girl that she knew where to go when she felt alone. I was so proud of my eldest daughter that she trusted Jesus to be able to deliver a message for her. I was so proud of my wife and my family and all of my friends, all of you that have had a part in my daughter's life, teaching her that Jesus is real, he is here, and he hears us when we pray. Thank you. thank you for helping my baby to know Jesus. And then, I felt so thankful to Jesus that he has given my little girl an opportunity to pray. I was so thankful that he brought us here, to a place that is different than we are used to and given Hannah a reason to cry out to him. Thank you Jesus. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.

Prudence: Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Today as I read the Bible I came across a passage by accident. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." Its an interesting life that comes with prudence. A life full of safety and control, foresight and planning. When I first read this, I had a thought of relief. I thought, well that makes things easy. No, that makes things very easy. This has now become for me Biblical proof that quitters prosper!!! When things are hard for me here or there, it is prudence, it is wisdom to take refuge. It is the right thing to quit while I am ahead. It is the simpleton that keeps going down the same old road of frustration and suffers for it.
Here lies the problem and it is two fold. The first is with a misunderstanding of prudence and the second is with a misunderstanding of simplicity and suffering. If I understand prudence to be something of my own doing, something of my own ability and skill, my discernment, well then there is no safety at all in the refuge I might find. "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley" (ref. Sermon aug 28th) If, on the other hand it is the wisdom of God that comes through His spirit and is encountered in His presence, well then, there is a strong tower of refuge and help in a time of need. That seems to be a different kind of prudence. Thats more like listening then planning. There is always a situation and circumstance that seems dangerous. There will always be a potential of disaster. To follow prudence will be to never, ever complete anything. But to follow Prudence sometimes is going down the same old road and suffering for it.
The second misunderstanding, then, lies in simplicity and suffering. When I suffer, I pray it is not because of my own prudence, but I pray that I suffer because of my simplicity. To look at life as smart versus simple is to see a dynamic that doesn't exist. Life is more complicated than that. Moments, people, decisions are only smart or stupid. We live in a real world with real and delicate problems. But in the simplicity of hearing the Words of God and staying still long enough to watch as they are fulfilled there must be peace. There must be peace. There must be!
James says, "my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance."
A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keeps going and suffers for it. I pray that I can avoid refuge today. I pray that I don't slink back to places that are safe for me, but instead, I pray that the proverb is true for me. I pray that I can simply keep going in suffering of any kind that it may produce endurance for me. There is a lot of running left to do today. Lord, give me grace sufficient for the challenge.

Meditation or Imagination

Today, one of our training instructors said a phrase that I'm not sure it meant as much to her as it did to me, but all the same, it has reminded me of something very important. Today, I spent almost 4 hours learning about what it means to have Quite Time and at first glance, I was tempted to be prideful. I was tempted to look up into the sky and shout, "what am I doing here?!?!" But, then, the Lord reached into the memoirs of my mind and showed me some places that I still need to be taught about quiet time; specifically as it relates to meditation and imagination.
She said, Meditation is not Imagination. That simple statement spoke! Certainly we can use our imagination to meditate on our Creator, for who could find a being that could create so much without using our imagination. Surely we use our imagination to see the Lord as our shepherd, leading us beside still waters, making us to lie down in green pastures, restoring our souls. Surely in our imagination, we see goodness and mercy following us all the days of our lives.
But there is another part of my meditation, in the quietness of my heart, in my Quite Times where I feel a conviction. What happens when Imagination becomes my Meditation? What happens when my meditation on the Lord becomes unfocused and misguided; no longer guided by His Words and His presence, but instead guided by what I think I might want. I imagine myself with a great following. I imagine myself no longer plagued by my soft-spokenness, no longer full of so many ideas. I imagine myself like someone else. I imagine myself looking like my grandfather with all of the patience in the world and calm acceptance of what comes in life. Then, I remember my own personality. I see my drivenness and my anxiousness and am dissatisfied with who I am. Or I imagine, calling it meditation, all of the ways my other grandfather commands attention. How he is a man of few words, but when they are spoken everyone listens. How his ideas are few and far between, but always worth listening to and working out. Then, I see my head full of far-fetched, optimistic and incredible ideas that often don't pan out. I hear my many words that might be encouraging to people some of the time, but so many often are unheard and imagine that I was differently made. Meditation certainly invokes imagination, but imagination is not meditation in and of itself.
When it becomes really counter-productive is when we begin to imagine God rather than meditate on him and our anthropomorphism really take shape. I imagine how god will give me every desire of my mind...no, I mean heart. I imagine how God will develop in me a totally new person immune to struggling and all of a sudden imagination has taken over my meditation and God has become way too much like me. God made me the way He intended me to be. The problem parts I've come up with on my own. As for today, my job is to meditate on him rather than to imagine the God of Creation The way I see fit.

Saying Yes IS Saying No

"Yes, Lord!  I'll go where you send me!  I do what you have called me to do!  I'll suffer hardship and lay my life down for your purpose."  Hallelujah!  Its so exciting to say "Yes!" and so exhilarating.  Finally being able to articulate a plan, being able to chart a course, move forward, take direction.  It makes you feel unstoppable, too.  If I have said "YES!" to the Lord, then no harm can befall me.  No weapon formed against me shall prosper.  No height, nor depth, nor present, nor future, nor power, nor principality....

Then, we arrive in Africa as a family and together, we begin to realize maybe a little bit more of what the disciples must have felt when Jesus says, "Come, follow me" and they all respond with a resounding, "YES!!!  I will follow you!"  They don't even really pack their things.  They just go.  They leave their nets where they lay, they leave their families in the midst of fishing season, tax season, harvest time and they just go.  But when they finally arrive in some other place, away from what they used to know, away from where they fit in, away from the people they have invested years of their lives into I wonder if they realized before they left that saying "Yes!" is saying, "no", too.  Being here in Africa, in Tanzania, the land the Lord has shown us time and time again, we continue to see the incredible things God is doing here.  We continue to feel His presence and hear His voice, we continue to love the language and get excited about the potential that is building for a revival of all nations, an outpouring of the power and the spirit of God and to all of these things, we say, "YES!!!"  But then, we arrive at home after a day of prayer and fellowship and work and we remember that we have said "no", too, and that has left us with a sense of mourning that we did not expect.  We did not expect to feel mourning for the loss of our close proximity to our family.  We did not expect to mourn the loss of a coffee date or afternoon barbecue.  We did not expect to mourn the loss of Hannah's playtimes with her friends.  All of those things seemed to inconsequential before; we could take them or leave them.  If they fit into our plans, then sure.  We can go get a coffee and sit down and talk.  Sure, we can bring some toys over and let the girls play.  If it works out.  Now, we experience the cost of discipleship in a way that we did not expect and the words of the gospel come alive in a new way when Jesus says, "he who does not hate father, mother, wife, children, {coffee dates and play times] is not fit for the kingdom of heaven."  And now it makes more sense, too, because I don't hate them at all.  I love my family and my friends.  I love my father and mother.  What I hate right now is not being with them!!  But if I were to love them so much that I would allow myself to begin to hate what I have come to do here, if I would love them so much that I would give in to the temptation to feel unwanted here, to feel insignificant and worthless here, well then I begin to love them more than I love what He has for me.  If we were to turn around when things get hard, if we were to change our minds, if we were to trump up charges against ourselves, accusing ourselves of misunderstanding God's voice, selfishly following adventure rather than his will, well then we would be unfit for the kingdom all together. 

Settling in

Nick started DTS today; the girls slept from midnight until 7 which is an improvement so they are almost on Arusha time; i made a meal the girls would eat last night; did the laundry and mopped my concrete floors; all of these things to say we are settling in.  The transition from America to here has been a lot harder than we imagined it to be. We knew it would be different but with the traveling we have done we did not prepare ourselves for the culture shock we would go through once we arrived here as a family.  The first day seemed great as the girls took in their new surroundings and then the next day came.  The girls started realizing they weren't going back to the states and things started unraveling.  Hailey kept putting on her boots and saying "okay I'm ready to go to my house" and I would let her know this is our house and that would lead to her bursting out in tears saying this is not her home.  Then Hannah started noticing that everyone looked at her and realized she looks so different than these other kids. At first she wanted to try and talk to them but after a while she realized that they didn't know what she was saying which resulted in her hiding away in the back room when the kids would come knock to play.  Hailey likes listening to the other children speaking swahili but screams and runs to me when an adult comes near. Everyone loves to try and pick up the girls; make them go with them which has put a fear in them that now makes them not leave my side.  We are not quite sure how to help this but know that time will be the best thing.  We have only been here 5 days and we need to realize it is going to take a lot of time to adjust to being here. 
I have tried to make a couple of meals because the girls are not too happy about eating rice and beans every meal but I have come up with spaghetti and thats about it.  Mama Miracle (our base leader) says she will help me make a good meal for the girls.  We got some fresh fruit and vegetables so tonight she is going to come by and help me make something she believes the girls will enjoy.  The other day she made the girls pancakes and I had not seen the girls eat like that since they have been here. This might be my greatest challenge as a mother.  I am at a loss when it comes to finding things to cook that the girls will enjoy.  Tears came to my eyes when they ate the spaghetti last night. Hannah ate more than I did and slept through the night without waking up hungry. 
Nick started DTS today and is excited about the classes that will begin tomorrow.  As of now he is the only american student but in 3 days 3 more american students will be here; 2 from our church.  The DTS is a lot smaller than usual due to the increase in the visa price. There are only 25 this year as compared to 40 previous times. 



The internet has been off and on so we will try and update as much as possible.  Though this transition has been harder than we expected we are anxious to see what the Lord is going to do here and to really see where our family fits.  It has definately made us rely on him and seek him for direction.  We can't rely on ourselves anymore and we are learning just how much we need Jesus.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying for us!  Hannah made me promise I would let everyone know she prays for you and misses you all! We are so thankful to have so many people supporting us. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to have a community supporting you and loving you through this journey we are on. 



The girls after not sleeping for 2 days



Helping me wash their shoes! They helped with the laundry too

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On our walk out to the school. Hailey loved saying "Hujambo" to everyone. Hannah was in our arms